Wednesday, September 29, 2010

Pirates are way cooler than Ninja's.

First let me start with a short clip directed by a rising hollywood master, Christopher J. Tomlinson:

For those of you who do not use the internet, or for those of you who never talk to anyone... which I guess is none of you, seeing as you are reading this, you should know about the on going struggle between Ninja lovers (Jordan, all of my small group guys (aka The Spokane Ninja society), I don't remember if you were on the wrong side Alan...) and the Pirate crew (I certainly fall in to this category, Brian, Chris, Chelsea). Remember we are going off of the pop culture ideas of Pirates and Ninjas, not the actual historic people. (we all know Pirates were way cooler back then anyway)

I was thinking about this conflict on my way to the bus today. I came up with a definitive resolution to the question at hand, what group is better: Pirates or Ninjas. This might have been spurred on by my Salzburg Pirates shirt I am wearing.

We can go on and on about the weaponry each would have used, we can talk about how you don't know you are being killed by a ninja because you are already dead, we can talk about how pirates had boats so they could obviously fight bigger battles, we could talk about the level of professionalism displayed by the Ninjas, or the lack thereof by Pirates... all of these are insignificant to the following: Pirates had way more fun.

What are Ninja's known for? They are known for not being seen. They are known for killing efficiency. They are known for being sneaky. Yeah, that would be cool for about a day. Then I would get lonely, and depressed. Pirates were the merrymakers and revelers of their day! If you look at Disney's depiction (which is obviously accurate) they had a great time, ranging from ruckus parties, to chasing women, to disgracing public officials, general frivolity and fun. 90% of the pirates had huge smiles on their faces. If Ninjas smiled, you wouldn't be able to see it! Being a Ninja is just lame... but Pirates, they know how to have a good time! If you were to walk in to a party, a Pirate would be the life of the party! Now granted by the end of the night he would be a disgrace... but still! The Ninja, he would be in the darkest corner of the room, with no friends.

Being a Pirate just sounds fun. Now granted I don't partake in a lot of what pirates are known for... drinking and chasing women are not really my thing... but merrymaking and disgracing public officials, I am all over that.
And therefore, once and for all, Pirates are way cooler than Ninjas.

But we all know that Bears are better than both.


  1. Are you biased because you live in Pittsburgh, home of the Pirates???

    I did an unauthorized, unbiased survey of the kids in my room at lunch.

    NINJA: superskilled, cool swords, highly trained, can sneak around, can walk on ceilings, do flips, climb trees, have silent footsteps, unnoticeable, better weapons, and better looking.
    PIRATES: they are rich, have huge cannons, gold, boats, are out on the fresh sea, have parrots, and are in cool sword fights.

    They favor ninjas 17 to 7.
    I personally vote for Pirates... MUCH better looking!!!!

  2. Comment just made by a ten year old: "Would you consider Robin Hood a Pirate.... eeewwey... they wear tights!"

    Response by another ten year old: "So do Ninjas!!!!"

  3. Hahaha.... Yeah for 5th graders! Even though they are obviously wrong.

    I saw a shirt the other day:
    Pittsburgh - The City of Champions, and the Pirates

    Turns out Pittsburgh is known as the city of Champions... I just had a little bit of a chuckle at the pirate slam.

  4. I think I would have to go with Pirates also -but I LOVE the scientific study that was completed!

    But I must point out ... how do you know that the ninja's are not laughing / smiling / being generally joyful and loving life behind their face mask? I should know ... I spent quite a bit of time behind different faces in my younger years!! One could be laughing but everyone thinks you are grumpy!!! :)

  5. Donna - You may be "Grumpy" but I was always "Happy". ;-)

    Julie Gilbertz walked in and said, "Jackie Chann or Johnny Depp???? Well hello!!!! Pirates!!!!"

  6. Mid-Terms have kept me away from my favorite blog. I was appalled to see this post. Ninjas use stealth therefore this debate should have remained private (Ninja Code). We have added a few more members here, so the pirates days are numbered. Plus, if there was a battle between pirates and ninjas we would just need one weapon: RUM