Pirates are way cooler than Ninja's.

First let me start with a short clip directed by a rising hollywood master, Christopher J. Tomlinson:



For those of you who do not use the internet, or for those of you who never talk to anyone... which I guess is none of you, seeing as you are reading this, you should know about the on going struggle between Ninja lovers (Jordan, all of my small group guys (aka The Spokane Ninja society), I don't remember if you were on the wrong side Alan...) and the Pirate crew (I certainly fall in to this category, Brian, Chris, Chelsea). Remember we are going off of the pop culture ideas of Pirates and Ninjas, not the actual historic people. (we all know Pirates were way cooler back then anyway)

I was thinking about this conflict on my way to the bus today. I came up with a definitive resolution to the question at hand, what group is better: Pirates or Ninjas. This might have been spurred on by my Salzburg Pirates shirt I am wearing.

We can go on and on about the weaponry each would have used, we can talk about how you don't know you are being killed by a ninja because you are already dead, we can talk about how pirates had boats so they could obviously fight bigger battles, we could talk about the level of professionalism displayed by the Ninjas, or the lack thereof by Pirates... all of these are insignificant to the following: Pirates had way more fun.

What are Ninja's known for? They are known for not being seen. They are known for killing efficiency. They are known for being sneaky. Yeah, that would be cool for about a day. Then I would get lonely, and depressed. Pirates were the merrymakers and revelers of their day! If you look at Disney's depiction (which is obviously accurate) they had a great time, ranging from ruckus parties, to chasing women, to disgracing public officials, general frivolity and fun. 90% of the pirates had huge smiles on their faces. If Ninjas smiled, you wouldn't be able to see it! Being a Ninja is just lame... but Pirates, they know how to have a good time! If you were to walk in to a party, a Pirate would be the life of the party! Now granted by the end of the night he would be a disgrace... but still! The Ninja, he would be in the darkest corner of the room, with no friends.

Being a Pirate just sounds fun. Now granted I don't partake in a lot of what pirates are known for... drinking and chasing women are not really my thing... but merrymaking and disgracing public officials, I am all over that.
And therefore, once and for all, Pirates are way cooler than Ninjas.

But we all know that Bears are better than both.